I clicked buttons for so long
click click
click click
click click
click click
what else my hands are for?
Author Archives: ruta
π₯©
I locked myself inside and watched a telly. A garden bird hit the window. Smelly.
π½
muddy body crawls
i smell roses
π
i open my mouth and bubbles paint clouds
πΈ
my errrors
my upgrade
πΆ
my eyes shine and the universe smiles
π£ββοΈ
a drop squeezed by the eye
joined the ocean with time
π
my enormous wings cross the sky as i enter dreams
β‘
1234567890
abcdefghij
π«
I like to feel light
π
i like to navigate my mind
when everyone’s sleeping
airplane mode’s cheeky
π€’
Donuts explode my stomach and oil my mind. Fog. Fog dims my heart.
π
sticky mud on my feet
i still try to breathe on my knees
π₯’
sand stuffing in my mind
thin glass with sliced heart
πΈ
universal chaos inside
please zoom into
a shooting start that
promise a luck for life
π
Vit C pumps my veins while I watch Friends
π§
universe cried together with me hiding in the tree
β
all days feel the same make something while you wait wait wait
π
o’m a sprout in a giant human body wondering how do i get out
π’
i’m just a soul moving slow
π¦
i catch a feeling like a butterfly
it whispers hi and flies away up to the sky bye bye bye bye
π£
ancient moss under my toes
tree branches crack as i move slow
π
stars set on my fur playing with the darkness of the night
diamond waterfall sparked in my eyes facing the moon shining too bright
πΆ
I rewilded
my purple shoes smiled
I rewilded
created until it hurts
I rewilded
my mind wind sights
π°
golden goals
pollute my veins
my heart breaks
πΆ
your world falls on me
I face your voice
drilling a hole
it hurts
Work
Wildlife
I rewilded. Electricity on and off. A homeless family hides inside a holiday house far away from the city noise. I rewilded. I saw a bird died on a shore having wild plastic raw. I rewilded. Small shops close doors after 60 years or more. No one is walking anymore. I rewilded. I saw progress hole.
π€―
my mind is like a kettle
go on and boil!
let me drink you
when it’s cold
π§πΌββοΈ
when I wake
I want to listen
trees whispering
My Lift
So wet inside this water. A wave came. Bite me.
I am all wet inside this water. A wave came. Lift me.
Scoops
The sea bites the land. Bit by bit. An entire cliff.
The man scoops sand. Bit by bit. A bucket.
Manure
Chai on the road touched my toes.
Christmas
A tiny snail visited me today.
Typo
I haven’t lived. I typed on post-its.
Species
Transformers play with forms. Perform.
Trashed
I finally transformed. I deleted my hard drive.
π§‘
I come from a star
bright and dark
I come from a star
hot inside but arctic far
I come from a star
called Earth
β‘
naked wings folded in the wind
i screamed
π₯
a wave in your hand
given to me or
a tsunami that killed me
β°
when it snows in stones
project a mountain
Tribal
I am dressed in a fast food outfit. I smell like a chip. I enter a gallery. Try to sell my chip. Why did I wrap a piece of invention as a chip? A gallery does not buy it. Nor chip people.
Air
Fire likes breaths.
π£
I’m floating
not in space
nor water
I’m floating through days
Dance
Water dances with the tree. Sneaks inside. Drops through the leaves. Hugs as a stream.
Time
I had a piece of paper from times I used to write by hand. Only this time, it evaporated in my bag. It’s time?
She
She talks to Universe. She said on-line.
π§ββοΈ
clouds make me hear myself
A-ha
They spoke about channels and November 17th. I had a dream. Wisdom teeth!
Rain
He told me about the rain. Idea drops travelling through water. Be like water, my friend.
π§ββοΈ
blueish red set
i reset myself
Spins
I jumped on the bus to turn my mind off. Spins.
π§
hei hei
my brain just
melted i felt it
Sunlight
I saw a dreamer on the bus. Melting a glass with her smile. The sun shines.
Selfies
He examined me. Twice. Every organ. OMG! I got 3 photos to bring home and put on the wall. Mars.
π§ββοΈ
city lights
swallowed my heart
π
holding bags and boxes
my body needs oxygen
Meetups
I met a human last week. She told me about her routine. Wake in a room with black blinds. Plug ears with ear plugs that shine. Inside. Eat fats all day. But fast all night. Watch a red light. Sneak into the matrix with orange glasses. Plug her bed with the Earth. Breathe in. Exhale.
I met one more human once. She was a gardener. Refilling B12 and Vit D tanks while planting trees. Drinking mineral water from the stream. Eating organic veg from her garden, sometimes keto with a wild animal fat, and fasting when food is not in season. Earthing while weeding bare foot. Exercising when chopping the wood. Meditating when making the red fire before bed. Sleeping when sun is down. Waking with the tunes of the birds. And writing music when there is nothing else to get done.
Wind
‘Stop thinking. Feel,’ he said. ‘But but but but…’ ‘Feel’, he exhaled.
π§πΌββοΈ
i am the fire
painting my hair white
my desire
making your heart fly
Tidy
I tidy. Remember my grandma smiling. A billion plastic bags. Flying. Silver spoons. Hiding. A billion linen with holes. From angry bugs.
Electronic music noise. Fills my heart holes.
I tidy.
Containers are too full. To take everything in. As I breathe in.
I tidy. I try to hide it.
I tidy.
Tidy.
It’s now tidy.
Bye
Black cries
I believe stones cry starring nowhere. But they know you’re there.
π
my words bombard my space
π
I chew brainchild
it tastes like wood
eternity passed
in this neighbourhood
NO
I feel my body shaking. I move my hand in front of my face. ‘NO’. Loud and calm. I hear it in my head. Same breath like when I was stopping a horse from stealing the food.
β
a boiling feeling inside my neck
it throws me far away f*ck
Duo
It’s 10 am. Finally. I press a giant button. The doors open. Second floor. Sunny. Glass walls overlook a shopping centre. A duo. Libraries and malls. I find a dusty empty desk. Look around. The old man clicks the old keyboard. I open my laptop.
π
like a bird screaming in mold
i searched for the door
π¦
in moments
of fight
i fly high
above my hive
Nesting
No matter where I go, I feel home. Like carrying a nest whenever I happen to go. A nest is my body and soul.
β°
soul trapped a
rotten body
my mind molded
π»
mood swings
my heart stinks
Weeds
‘Leave some of the weeds. They will grow again.’ I wanted to follow my way. Every single weed. Such a pain.
π
earth
breath
π¨
I wind
begin
π
i would not be me
without a nightmare that inspired me
π₯π₯π₯
angry birds bite
and why does my
heart
cry
Greens
If you wait, it speaks.
πββοΈ
h-air
π
i seek space.
and interdependence?
π
galactic road
the essence
of my soul
πΆ
lemon
splashes
π
moments when i wake
i’m floating in space
β€οΈ
dark light
charges a
battery of
my life
π€
spinning eternity
inside my heart
wished me goodnight
Kit
First came the Fire. Edible Weeds. Now, Bread. Getting closer.
π
like a spinning spiral
i go inward and
listen to the silent
β
black ball bounced
inside my stomack and
straight to the forest
π
cloudly mind and
heat and rain
feel the wind
no blame
π
broken wings within
scream for attention
when you dream
Hand
Tractor hands a branch of the tree which warms our hands after the day of working collaboratively.
π
i wake
to rake
my life
β
spring
time
for
brain
child
Hi, Life.
He was named Cheznut. His tail went up every time he was running free in the green fields.
One day I started walking a different route. On the road. Not so much on the stream and towards the Tree… I was ready to leave.
I found what I was looking for. But was I really looking at all? We came here without goals, except that to make a pond. The Pond was now ready.
I somewhat feel calmer. Was it the forest?
One day, headaches stopped too. Just before I ordered a bag of vitamins! I know why they stopped though. Forgiveness.
in the darkness also lives
light
just look up the sky
at night
I wrote this that night, or maybe a night after. I can hardly track time these days. “I don’t do time,” as Don would say.
Those two days were weird. But hey, headaches went away! One morning, I woke and left to visit the Tree. Normally, I walk with Cheznut after my routine. But this morning, I woke and left. Meditation or so by the Tree was quick. I recall it was something about my mom. That day and every other day after – no headaches. Maybe that’s how nature speaks to me?
I recall one night too. I went to sleep or just to nap downstairs because he could not sleep and I thought he needs space. It was Monday the 6th, almost Tuesday the 7th. Ah just after mom’s day Sunday. So that night too it was something about self-love.
mask
dropsyour body explodes
fresh air in your mouthheart
bumps
I wrote when I woke at 8.37am on the 7th.
sick all life
and now
with eyes wide open i
say hi life
Hi, Life.
π¬
i saw a tree
breathing
it was windy
π
sick
all life
and now
with eyes
wide open i
say
hi life
π
in the darkness
lives light
just look up
the sky at night
π£
mask drops
body explodes
fresh air in my mouth
my heart bumps
β
we destroy when
in pain
but create when
love is
the way
π
grey matter so concrete
i cannot breathe
i am a weed
β³
give it time
for the quiet
cocoon still cracks
in silence
give it time
for the bird
born to sing loud
outloud
give it time
and cocoon
may give
life to a bird
π¨
i rise
π
nature
is in
flux
and your
life
is
fluke
π’
an egg
cracked
it hurts
π
light
brightens the
night
π
universal love
washed by the sea
touched my toes
π
my heart is orange
with
wings
within
π
an iron squid
inside my
neck
one moment
and i womit
love
heck
γ°
healing
natural
being
π€
brain wash
yourself again
π΅
the sound of flies
inside the house
π
think
in
public
β
inner guards made you sad
sign to change your life
π
make up
for
your mind
π
tiny bird
tries to hug
the earth
π
i want to shine
like stars say hi at night
like flowers open with light
like streams travel the earth
i want to shine
together with life
π·
iceberg wine
β
retreat
within
π§
i saw bird crying
it was raining
π
wonder
as
in
space
π
stars at night
blinked
you chill child
π
how much Honey
does it take to
heal one human being?
π€
value proposition
needed to exist
π¦
walk
on
water
β²
no wifi
use
your mind
π₯
muffin
squeeze
π
dead
talks
π’
stay
still
β¨
mind
works
β
hands
down
slow
down
π
time
travel
β€
yesyes
π
red sky
only when
you wake
on time
π€
those who
give first
rule the world
π
i sink
in my past
with my tasks
~
water
walk
π΅
soul
chat
π
birds play
in clouds
β
burnyourstomach
explodeyourhead
haveyoudone
yourhomeworkdead
βοΈ
volcano
vomits
π
salty
sea’s
sweet
π§
iceberg
m
e
l
t
s
πΆ
talk talk talk
hear bird’s song
πΏ
stoned
face
π
sleep
-ing
bag
βΊ
no one
knows
β
fen
-ced
life
π«
wind
talks
βοΈ
snow
πͺ
clean
streets
βΈ
foggy
train
π
escape
dragon’s
flame
π
watch
your mouth
π¬
dress
inside
π
magic in
your head
π
live
the
feed
π
sing even
you don’t
π
wild
laugh
π
be
free
#
time
travel
γ°
life
such a
test
π§
rains
π
stars
open
eyes
π
a garden
you own
harder
to grow
π
head
boils
in oil
π
stolen
friends
π¬
we
chain
β
shake
your
heart
π
back
pack
β
empty
vomit
π§
honey
glass
broke
cope
π½
water
your
past
π§
stop time
sometimes
inner war
in your
eyes
π
the
sky
the
same
π
NO
π¬
flies
in mind
π€
mind
diet
π―
pain
grain
π―
beauty
in pain
π
fire
seeds
βοΈ
serve
π
shit is
shit
sense it
β
mind
on fire
β«
no idea
who
you
are
buy a car
βΈ
pause
noise
π§
hide
chunks
of time
π¨
people do
follow you
βΊοΈ
hide
in
nest
π§
a swamp
a river
a tiny one
the ocean
to come
β
rub
soul
π
what’s
your plan
let me see
what I can
π
many books
read
yes
no adventures
went
both
share
space
weed
dead
plant
seed
hi
grass
wet
sun
meets
my face
rules
sharing
tasks
just
ask
race
know
when to
hold on
when to
let it
go on
fluke
when
nothing
works
random
always
does
techno tale
get
good at
doing tasks
march
order
oh i deeply love disorder
sticky
mind
in hand
mint
echo
after
rain
dot
mould
hides
fruits
one
all being
being all
wax
modern mess
to impress
feed
I pollute my mind
with a stream of AI
hey human go outside
gem
roses
bloom
in closets
wrinkle
build castles
in the sky
but why
host
push
no pull
you fool
bumblebee
sit down
plan it
oh I’m
tired
freezer
chicken
stuffed
fall
wind
blows
burnout
goes
sight
I want
to be
like you
sea
but
I’m just
a human
learning
to see
eraser
explain dead stupid
yawn
I hate pop music
bee
run
blind
hurry
child
wind
did I
want growth
or
the world
made me so
frog
first wish
win it
hurry up
begin it
do it
lose it
snooze it
forget it
pause it
live it
stream
mind
space
calm
race
wand
task
how hard
use
your mind
flies
dive
find your
hive
swing
brain
shut
reboot
foresthood
bin
plate
full
ship
bin
die empty
friend
roots
solo β
slow
race to
grow
hands
thanks
for lifting
my tanks
rules
yes the world
no the cold
jungledapt
envisiontep
hoover
tidy
lives
vacuum
inside
ear
sheets
don’t talk
open
your mouth
lab
heart
wrapped
plastic
bag
parasite
but
the bug
top
hit the wall
hit hit hit
hit the wall
hit hit
hit the wall
hit
hit
hit
made
it
lens
billions
blind
look
inside
fountain
eyes
hide
or
spark
life
circles
cross
roads
heart
beats
repeat
muscle
mili second
hit the record
chain
grant a right
to a secret tribe
just apply
sell your time
hard
when you got style
flag
whose agenda
in your mouth
purpose
hides
in your heart
check it out
flair
open the door
for you
spray
why
you do
what you do
punch
friendly nudge
new norm
society
reform
bite
bloody nails
go on stage
pulse
beat
release
pulse
chaos
purpose
works
ice box
die
alive
mold
complain
complain
complain
Create
dance
hey
you
what
do
you
do
the
new
sun day
doing
hurts
being
works
flow
warm
up
open
mac
farm
seed
weed
hurry up
repeat
turbo snail
chaos
train
noise
look
I did not sign up for this
label
does not mean relationship
sound
silence
face to face
means
something
chat box
β race
and you
wait
?
bond
ping
pong
medicine
work
best
biohack
of all
cough
cycle in the rain
smog in your face
forty cigarettes daily
go hide your face
privacy is trending
happy days
mouse
oh, shit
β mirror said
tree
one to many
many to a few
oil
want growth
eat the frog
once again
loop
get some fish oil
β you troop
zero waste
make energy
bring your best
air
demand for intangible
who does it and how
services sell the show
the better future for all
chunks
slice
days
done
hats
eat
your tasks
change
your paths
who is that
β hats
sweat
location
pin
tone
purpose
many
words
any
reframe
got goals
to play
with
rain
go on
rain
be water
friend
gut
break
bend
blend
quiets
hey society
change
here you goβ
what do you
care about
sweets
who buys a problem
I choose a promise
can we play a game
reframe
poverty
β abundance
migrants
β diversity
unemployment
β opportunity
better
promise
(pause)
modern tools speed up
hurry up
some thinking is actually slow
did you know
(pause)
categories
divide
β unite
room
hard
bloom
sensor
care
skill
bling bling
inner spark
protect it
black hole
you know
rabbit hole
play plain
explain
the main
thing
war zone
chaos in your head
take them down
group
troops
sheep
why donβt you
try something new
I follow the crowd
since the days of youth